I have to get up in 8ish hours which seems like its an ok amount of sleep, but this girl tends to be a little greedy when it comes to shut eye. My brain is going every which direction (brain fuzz). So lets write!
-Tonight I was praying like I always do before going to sleep and I caught myself complaining an annoying amount. I actually made myself feel bad for God, like...this man created the universe...He does NOT need to hear me whine. SO to get it all out I decided I would make a list of the top 5 things bothering me currently, and then follow that up with a list of the top 10 things that are blessing me currently. Here..weee....gooo....
1. My foot hurts. My foot always hurts. My foot has hurt for many years. Every step I take feels like my arch is about to rip in half. Whats my favorite sport? Running. What do I do when I'm sad, mad, happy, stressed, excited? Run. What can I not even think about doing for the next several weeks? Running. What happens to Rach when she doesn't run? Fat happens.
2. My boyfriend hurts. He just had knee surgery and is in a lot of pain for most of the day. With me living 4ish hours away I can't be that awesome girlfriend that surprise! brings him ice cream randomly, or sits on the couch for three days straight watching all of his favorite movies, or drives him wherever he wants to go. No, I'm the one that just has to send a text message saying "I'm so sorry, wish I could help!" That's all I can do, and it sucks.
3. I can't find a decent job this summer. Now don't get me wrong I'm not opposed to getting dirty and working hard, but cleaning out stock tanks and painting fence every day for three months is not my thing. I'm more of a take care of kids, teach them how to play a sport, hang out with youth type person. Leoti sucks, there is no where to work, andddd I'm feeling a little bit trapped.
4. My cell phone sucks. Enough said on that one. (and no, in case you are wondering, I did not include my cell phone issues in the prayer I was talking about above. Its just one of the things that is bugging me lately).
5. I have homework up to my eyeballs and I feel like its never going to get done. Two observation journals, two psych assignments, a psych test and final, a couple other finals, observation hours to finish, an online class with three assignments per week. PHEW! Lord help me. These last three weeks are going to make for a very crazy and stressed out version of my already crazy self.
BLESSINGS:
1. Right now as I am typing this there is a thunder storm going on, and thunderstorms happen to be on my list of top 100 favorite things!
2. I get to see my whole family tomorrow! Some of them I haven't seen in about six months.
3. I have a really nice car that allows me to drive to wherever I need to go to see my family.
4. I get to see my crippled boyfriend in a few days... and be the girl who brings him ice cream, watches movies with him, and drives him wherever he wants to go. :)
5. I own a cell phone.
6. I was able to help out a close friend who is going through a hard time recently. One of the greatest feelings ever.
7. Tonight I had a birthday dinner for my best friend! It was a blast, this may sound so cliche, but I absolutely LOVE giving gifts to people. It is one of the best feelings ever to see them smile so big when they open up something that you specifically picked out with them in mind.
8. My roommate stayed the night over in our dorm tonight. That never happens anymore and it makes me sad because she has been one of my close friends since I was a junior in high school. We always have a great time joking around and hanging out when she does decide to stay here with me. (Though I hope I'm not keeping her up with the clicking of my keyboard).
9. I'm almost done with my first year of COLLEGE! Wow, I never even thought I would get out of high school, and here I am. Makes me so excited for whats coming up next in my life.
10. Well obviously my greatest blessing is the fact that I know and consider Jesus to be my best friend, counselor, rock, shelter, protector, healer, joy-giver, secret keeper, dream maker...the list goes on and on. I am so in love with Him. My hearts one true desire is to grow and grow and grow in my relationship with Him. This year I have. That has been my ultimate blessing.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Letter to Myself
Dear 5 year old Rach,
Mom loves dressing you in overalls. You look ridiculous. Whine and cry and this madness with stop.
Dear elementary school Rach,
Your brother is a jerk. He is going to punch you in the face and knock your front tooth out (but the joke is on him because you get a freakin' dollar out of the deal). He will teach you naughty words, then he is going to call you those naughty words, he is going to make you switch him rooms so that he can sneak out of the house, he will tackle you and beat you up every day (until that one time when you kick him in the baby maker and then YOU get in trouble) BUT later on I swear he becomes your best friend on this earth.
Dear junior high Rach,
Kansas sucks. It will always suck. Girls are super mean, and they are going to hate you, but instead of trying to fit in you should just throw up that middle finger (not literally...just like...get that attitude) and not care what they think. Also some of those girls become your closest friends later on. Ummm go ahead and just don't go out for basketball because you end up hating it by your Junior year of high school. Kyler Berning quits hating you and "falls in love" with you. You look like a 9 year old boy right now, but you do end up looking like a girl eventually, promise. AND for goodness friggin' sake get your dang ears pierced it doesn't hurt that bad.
Dear Freshman Rach,
Kissing is fun, quit being scared to do it. Math hates you and you suck at it. You aren't going to weigh 105 for a whole lot longer...CHERISH IT! Track....rocks, right? Work hard, don't just do the workouts to finish them, push yourself.
Dear Sophomore Rach,
Probably don't go driving around when your parents tell you to go straight home, they do find out, they do yell...a lot...when you almost total your car. Just because he has a mustang does not make him cool...it doesn't even go that fast. Mr. Chidester is scary, and he hates you, and he makes you talk to a trash can named Jason in Spanish class when he catches you talking to your friends. Just sit there and shut up.
Dear Junior Rach,
Hardest year of your life. You will be ok, promise. God is testing your faithfulness, you will use this time to help others get through their hard times. He is gone, but you will see him again! Wearing those pink high top Nikes to prom? Amazing idea, mad props to you. You are NOT ready for a serious relationship however, just don't go there. Also, do. NOT. CUT. YOUR. HAIR. OFF. Dumbest idea you have ever had. Seriously.
Dear Senior Rach,
I know you hate Leoti, and you probably always will...buttt tap your dang brakes! These are the days you are going to miss so much with the people you love so much. Have fun with your friends, you are going to miss seeing them everyday. Going to college 5 hours away is a good decision, you are going to love where you are at. You won't always be a top dog in track, so soak that crap up while it lasts. Don't date him, he acts like a girl. You go crazy with that camera girl... just open it up and let it flow, because you are good at snapping those pictures! Don't ever forget that you have a family that can't be topped. They are amazing.
Mom loves dressing you in overalls. You look ridiculous. Whine and cry and this madness with stop.
Dear elementary school Rach,
Your brother is a jerk. He is going to punch you in the face and knock your front tooth out (but the joke is on him because you get a freakin' dollar out of the deal). He will teach you naughty words, then he is going to call you those naughty words, he is going to make you switch him rooms so that he can sneak out of the house, he will tackle you and beat you up every day (until that one time when you kick him in the baby maker and then YOU get in trouble) BUT later on I swear he becomes your best friend on this earth.
Dear junior high Rach,
Kansas sucks. It will always suck. Girls are super mean, and they are going to hate you, but instead of trying to fit in you should just throw up that middle finger (not literally...just like...get that attitude) and not care what they think. Also some of those girls become your closest friends later on. Ummm go ahead and just don't go out for basketball because you end up hating it by your Junior year of high school. Kyler Berning quits hating you and "falls in love" with you. You look like a 9 year old boy right now, but you do end up looking like a girl eventually, promise. AND for goodness friggin' sake get your dang ears pierced it doesn't hurt that bad.
Dear Freshman Rach,
Kissing is fun, quit being scared to do it. Math hates you and you suck at it. You aren't going to weigh 105 for a whole lot longer...CHERISH IT! Track....rocks, right? Work hard, don't just do the workouts to finish them, push yourself.
Dear Sophomore Rach,
Probably don't go driving around when your parents tell you to go straight home, they do find out, they do yell...a lot...when you almost total your car. Just because he has a mustang does not make him cool...it doesn't even go that fast. Mr. Chidester is scary, and he hates you, and he makes you talk to a trash can named Jason in Spanish class when he catches you talking to your friends. Just sit there and shut up.
Dear Junior Rach,
Hardest year of your life. You will be ok, promise. God is testing your faithfulness, you will use this time to help others get through their hard times. He is gone, but you will see him again! Wearing those pink high top Nikes to prom? Amazing idea, mad props to you. You are NOT ready for a serious relationship however, just don't go there. Also, do. NOT. CUT. YOUR. HAIR. OFF. Dumbest idea you have ever had. Seriously.
Dear Senior Rach,
I know you hate Leoti, and you probably always will...buttt tap your dang brakes! These are the days you are going to miss so much with the people you love so much. Have fun with your friends, you are going to miss seeing them everyday. Going to college 5 hours away is a good decision, you are going to love where you are at. You won't always be a top dog in track, so soak that crap up while it lasts. Don't date him, he acts like a girl. You go crazy with that camera girl... just open it up and let it flow, because you are good at snapping those pictures! Don't ever forget that you have a family that can't be topped. They are amazing.
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